When you’ve been through a break up, dating someone new is often the last thing on your mind. “Plenty of fish in the sea,” your friends say. Or “the right person will come along at the right time.” So why is it so common to feel like you never want to date again? Before getting back out there, it’s important to ask yourself if you’re ready for a new relationship.
I’d been in a relationship for eight months when my girlfriend and I broke up – a break up I definitely didn’t want. I told myself I was going to stop the whole looking-for-a-girlfriend thing and just focus on myself for a while. I spent quite a long time being single, and started to enjoy it. Until I found out that somebody in my university writing group liked me – and I liked her too. But I wondered if I was ready to pursue a new relationship.
I started to ask myself some questions. Was I over my ex? Was I feeling positive enough about myself again that I would be vulnerable with someone new? Relationships take time, effort and commitment. I didn’t want to carry baggage from my last relationship (or last few relationships) into a new one. It’s important to give yourself time to deal with the past as you think about the future.
Most importantly, it’s crucial to be happy and fulfilled within yourself before starting a new relationship. Relationships can be wonderful, but they shouldn’t be used as a “fix.” Look for somebody supportive and loving who will see your value and like you for who you are. As for me, after I considered all these questions, I decided to re-enter the dating world and I asked her out! I was ready to date again. Are you?