Questions to ask before you get back with your ex

It’s a big decision, isn’t it? Whether or not to get back together with somebody you’ve broken up with? There are so many emotions involved and it can be hard to trust your feelings. It’s scary to think you could just put yourself through heartache again, but will it be worth it? Here are some questions to ask yourself before getting back together with your ex.

  1. Why did we break up?

It may be difficult to go over what went wrong in your relationship, but thinking about the reasons for the break up and talking through what went wrong will help to ensure it doesn’t happen again. Has anything changed, or are the same issues still there?

  1. Is the person any different since the relationship ended?

Getting back together with an ex is different to dating somebody new. They’re the same person you broke up with – so if they haven’t changed at all, then your relationship with them might go the same way as it did before.

  1. Am I any different at all since the relationship ended?

It’s not all about whether they’ve changed – have you changed? Only you know why you broke up, but if getting back together needs a change of heart on your part, are you genuinely willing to do this?

  1. Is there anything that needs to be worked out or forgiven?

Couples break up for all kinds of reasons. But if the reason was really serious, such as lying or cheating, then you need to resolve those issues before going any further. Have you taken the time to work it through and forgive?

  1. Are you getting back together for the right reasons?

The two of you have to be honest about why you’re getting back together. Is it because you realise you were wrong to break up, or is it because breaking up is hard? Missing the other person is normal, but it’s not enough of a reason to get back together. Think seriously about the reasons you’re thinking of giving it another go. If you know you’ll be better off on the other side without them – be brave and walk through the pain. If you’ve answered the questions above and realised it’s worth another go – be brave and try again!

Dan Callan

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