moving in

4 essential things to talk about before you move in together

Are you considering moving in with someone? I remember when the first girl in my close group of friends announced she was moving in with her partner. At the time, even the prospect of moving in together made me anxious. But a couple of years later, I found myself considering moving in with my partner myself. What made the anxiety disappear? Talking through the big stuff. Here’s my list of four essential things to talk about before moving in together!

Length of contract

When you’re young, everything can change in a heartbeat. A new job offer may present itself, or you may decide living together just isn’t working out. It’s ideal to start with a rental agreement that has a short minimum term and a rolling tenancy contract. I knew I was going to feel trapped if the contract was too long, so we found a place that offered a six month minimum agreement.

And this isn’t just about the legal contract. Make sure you have the conversation about what moving in together means to both of you. Are you both on the same page? Having different expectations can lead to heartbreak which could have been avoided.

How much personal space to you each need

My partner and I both like a lot of personal space, so we considered how our budget could allow for this. We compromised on the location to get a two bedroom place because having more space meant feeling more comfortable with sharing it.

Have the awkward conversations about money

It’s awkward, but living together means talking about money. We had to share what we earn and what we’re comfortable spending. There was a big difference in our monthly income so we had a great conversation about how do manage that practically. While it felt a bit uncomfortable, it took off the pressure in the long run.

The daily stuff – who does what?

If you haven’t lived with your partner before, you’re likely to have different expectations of what is “normal” housekeeping. To avoid arguments, talk about your expectations beforehand.

This list may seem daunting, but it will lead to great conversations that will help you feel calm and prepared for the big step. And remember – it’s meant to be fun! Get the hard conversations out the way so you can enjoy Netflix nights and staying in cuddling together!

Dimana Markova


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