What is your fear of commitment costing you?

We’ve all seen that cute elderly couple holding hands as they walk down the street, or having their daily cup of coffee together at the local cafe. We love to acknowledge how sweet it is to see two people together for so long. I believe most of us even crave that level of intimacy and connection to another person. However, many of us are also fearful of that level of commitment. But what is that fear costing us?

Why are we fearful of commitment?

I think we recognise that to commit means to risk our hearts, and that means we may get hurt. To commit also means to live a life of sacrifice, and that’s a scary thought too. We all know for that couple to still be so in love after so many years means a life of mutual sacrifice. We live in an instant-gratification culture, and we’re used to getting our needs met. If this mindset seeps into how we do relationships, we’re likely to go after what brings us short-term pleasure rather than long-term satisfaction. But where does that leave us in terms of commitment?

Play the long game

I sometimes think about what truly committing to another person might cost me. Would I turn down a job opportunity if it meant it would take me away from a partner? Would I move cities for them? Would I be willing to lay aside some of my dreams so that we can build dreams together? I hope I would. But I can be honest with myself that long term gain may mean short term pain. We have to ask ourselves what we really want. I’m looking for companionship, trust, stability, and ultimately – to be that older couple that’s still in love after fifty years. And that makes it worth it.

Risk your heart

Committing to someone means giving them your heart, and truth be told that means they could break it. It’s normal to wonder if we’ll get hurt. But it’s only through overcoming these fears and choosing to risk that we stand the chance of having what we all really want.

Let’s choose to be the couple the younger generation can look to and smile and aspire to be like one day. It’s a goal that makes everything else worth it.

Dan Callan

 

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