Losing my virginity

I lost my virginity at seventeen.

I’d gone away with with some friends and we were enjoying the heady sense of freedom that comes from being at a musical festival together. We invented a game called ‘You can’t return to the tents unless you have made five “friends”’. One friend and I found ourselves talking to a friendly bunch of people from Wales.

After initial introductions, I spotted one guy I really liked the look of (he was quite fit in a blonde, scruffy, I-don’t-know-I’m-fit-but-I-am way).

His friends decided we’d get along and took on the role of wing-men. They started pointing out things like: ‘Jasper’s in a band, Jasper’s a lifeguard, Jasper has a six-pack, Jasper is great.’ I can’t say these factors made me any less interested.

The next day I got a text from Jasper (my friend had given him my number) and we agreed to meet later that night. He was really flirty and it slowly dawned on me that he might have certain ‘expectations’ of where this was leading.

At this point, sex for me was something my friends and I chatted about a lot but none of us had done. The tension mounted until I decided I had to set the record straight. I told him that I didn’t want to sleep with him.

To my surprise he said that was fine and asked if I wanted to carry on hanging out.

So, I took him to meet my friends. His charming manners soon won them over and I could feel the magic start to work on me as well. Soon we were talking and laughing and I thought nothing of it when he casually touched my leg. Before I knew it, I had completely changed my mind and with a wink I lead him to my tent.

My first time having sex wasn’t scary. It was a bit painful and uncomfortable physically but the biggest hurdle for me was probably taking off my top because I have quite small boobs and I was seriously concerned that this would be an issue. To my relief his response was simply, “Come on Lottie, like I care about that!”

Looking back, the whole thing was quite laughable. My pillow was a packet of chocolate Snack a Jacks rice cakes and all my friends were only a thin piece of tent material away. Thankfully the music was loud and I made sure to remember which songs were playing so I could make a ‘music I lost my virginity to’ playlist later.

Although I have never regretted losing my virginity to Jasper, a few months later I started going out with a guy who I really adored and at times I felt it would have been better if he had been my first. Having sex with someone I loved seemed to be just as much a ‘first time’ experience as losing my virginity physically with Jasper.

Although biologically it is the same act, both experiences felt like polar opposites. There is nothing as fun and as exciting as having sex with someone who you really love and loves you back.

It sounds a bit wet but it’s the complete truth. I’ve had sex with another guy since I broke up with the man I loved but frankly it was boring. As soon as it began, I wanted it to be over.

My advice is that if you want to have really good sex, fall in love first.

by Lottie Carr

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