Don’t let his “NO” tell you who you are

You know the story. I met him, I liked him. I asked him out and he said the worst thing possible. A simple “no.” The moment the word hits, the cloud starts to descend. Did I do something wrong? Did I misread the signals? Did I ask too soon? Am I just unlikeable? The questions kept coming. And they all amounted to the same thing – what’s wrong with me?

Let’s be honest. Few things are harder to bounce back from than someone we really like saying they don’t feel the same way. It’s never going to be fun. But that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with us. A hundred people might have an opinion on how great we are. Why is is so easy to let one person’s “no” shake our confidence?

It’s all about the value we place on the person. The more we like them, the more their opinion seems to matter. And that’s natural. But it’s up to us to remember that it’s still just one person’s opinion. We read so much into that “no.” We think we know what the other person was thinking, but we don’t.

I discovered a key to getting over a “no.” It helps to remember that the other person is human, with things going on, fears and emotions that we may know nothing about. His “no” is a choice he makes. It doesn’t get to tell us who we are. In fact, his “no” probably says more about him than about us. If you were willing to share your feelings, celebrate that! It means you’re brave and confident and willing to risk. Keep being who you are. Keep listening to the voices that tell you, you’re great. You never know when the “yes” is coming!

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