Rejection is inevitable but dealing with rejection in any part of life can be hard to do. Not getting a job after an interview or finding that you weren’t accepted onto the perfect university course can really suck.
But few types of rejection are harder to bounce back from than being told by someone you really like that they don’t feel the same way.
In that moment after the hammer falls, you feel as if you are in free fall and your mind races with everything you could possibly have done wrong.
Did you misread what you thought was a flirtatious signal? Did the way you ask horrify them so much that they rejected you in disgust? Or are you just not likeable?
The first few times I was rejected all I did was feel sorry for myself and push away those who tried to be there for me.
I became someone I didn’t like and it took me a while to get over myself. I realised that growing up emotionally is important. If I wasn’t mature enough to take the hit maybe I wasn’t mature enough for a relationship.
I discovered a key to coping with rejection. To remember that the other person is human too. They might have all sorts of reasons for not wanting to say ‘yes’ to you and it might have nothing to do with whether you are a likeable person or not. Their reason might say more about them than it does about you and that is ok.
The real blessing is that feelings of rejection don’t have to be permanent. Don’t waste too many tears on someone who doesn’t or can’t love you for who you are.
My advice is to learn from the experience, grow as a person, and get ready to take the plunge again. You never know the next person you ask might just say ‘yes’!
by Rob Edwards
The Office – US © NBC