The holiday season is here and so are those holiday romances that get hearts racing. But, as Love Island often shows us, despite the intensity of a sun-kissed relationship, very few last.
Whether your holiday relationship takes place in an idyllic Mallorca villa – full of body-perfect ‘contestants’ – or on a caravan park in Cornwall, the painful truth is it’s unlikely to endure. Perhaps for the same reasons that it began; geography and where your head’s at. You were far from home – both physically and mentally. When you return to reality and the suntan starts to fade and that daily routine takes over, cracks often appear.
But there is hope for determined holiday romancers! At Tavistock Relationships, we’ve been counselling couples for decades and have identified some vital ingredients for love that lasts.
So, Love Islanders and holiday romancers, here are our top five relationship must-haves. If you tick these boxes, you might just sail off into the sunset together after all!
- Spend time together – While you’re away, you’ve done nothing but spend time together but now you’re home, do you have enough in common? Successful couples need to take time to be together and enjoy things like sports, socialising with friends and family, nights in and nights out.
- Money – We might have different attitudes to money on holiday, but do your approaches balance out now you’re back? While many people are comfortable spending beyond their means and taking on debt, others like to save for a rainy day. Accepting and tolerating each other’s differences are important but we should all feel safe and secure as well.
- Share the chores – Housework doesn’t exist on holiday – or in Love Island – but if one of you likes a pristine place and the other thinks mess is best – alarm bells should ring! Knowing that you’ll want the same kind of home and are happy to share the chores, really matters. Resentment can quickly build when one partner feels they are doing more. Teamwork is important.
- Career satisfaction – The holiday’s over and it’s time to get back to studying or work. Are you and your partner supportive of each other’s goals? Will you be there to listen if it goes wrong?
- Sex – In almost all relationships there will be a difference between how much sex each partner wants and needs to feel satisfied, so you’ll want to check you agree now you are back in reality.
The key to all of this is communication – something that can be easier to advocate than to do. Any relationship, but especially a holiday romance, is like a seedling – it needs daily attention to flourish and grow.
John Fenna, from Tavistock Relationships