What to avoid when breaking up with someone

When you’ve finally made the decision to end a relationship, it can be hard to know how best to do it. Here are things to avoid when breaking up with someone.

  • Avoid waiting too long.
    Once you’ve made your decision, rip of the plaster and get it done. There can be no avoiding the pain, but you can prolong it by waiting and waiting because you’re scared to do it.
  • Avoid breaking up during a fight or when you’re angry.
    Rash decisions in the heat of the moment can be the ones you regret the most later. Don’t throw it all in because of what could be a temporary disagreement. Make big decisions when you are feeling calm and thinking clearly.
  • Avoid lying to them.
    You owe it to them to be honest as to why you’re ending it. Lying or not telling the whole truth is problematic. It might lead the other person to either believe something about themselves or you that isn’t true. Or it could lead them to believe that if they change a certain thing then they can get back with you. Either way, it is always better to tell the truth and have a sound conscience.
  • Avoid burning bridges.
    Being clear in breaking up with someone doesn’t mean burning all bridges. Whilst Facebook stalking definitely doesn’t aid the healing process, neither does avoiding them at all costs and becoming resentful. Remaining civil is the best course of action and makes the process easier for both sides.
  • Avoid getting back with them simply because you miss them.
    You are guaranteed to miss them immediately after the break up. You’ve gone from seeing a person continuously to not seeing them at all. You might not be missing them, but actually missing the intimacy you shared. This doesn’t mean you should never get back with them, but make sure the reasons are not just because you miss being in a relationship. This also means not just moving on to someone else simply because of a lack of intimacy. It’s a temporary fix which could end up doing harm to you, your ex and the new person involved.
  • Be absolutely sure you want to do it. Make sure you take your time to fully consider what the options are and why you may be feeling the way you do. Think with you head and don’t just go with your gut. (And don’t text a vague number that offers auto-generated relationship advice, that’s never smart.)

Finally, make it absolutely clear that YOU ARE BREAKING UP WITH THEM. Do not leave false hope or confusion. It can make the entire situation even more painful.

by Dan Callan

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