How to tell if your break is really a break up

How to tell if your break is really a break up

“We were on a breaaak!” Those five words are ingrained in the minds of young people everywhere as Ross Geller’s justification for sleeping with the copy girl while still kind of in a relationship with Rachel Green in the sitcom Friends. Was Ross right in thinking that because they were “on a break,” he was allowed to sleep with somebody else? Personally, I think Ross was wrong, but that’s not what this article is about.

What is the meaning of “taking a break?” What is the status of the relationship when it’s in limbo? Well, I can only talk about it from a personal point of view. When I was in Year 10 there was a girl I really liked. Let’s call her Annie. But she was going out with someone else. So we were just good friends for a few months. Once that relationship was over, Annie and I started dating.

Things were good for a while, we were happy. But then Annie took me aside and said she was having second thoughts about our relationship. She wanted to take a break.

So we did. To cut a long story short, we broke up soon afterwards. The reality was that she had met somebody else. Are breaks used as a coward’s way to cushion the blow of a break up? Well, sometimes. In my case, Annie said we should take a break but she knew she wanted a break up.

But this isn’t always the case. Taking a break can be good for pausing, getting some space and reflecting on what you want from the relationship. It boils down to this: do you see a future together? Answering this is how you can tell if your “break” is really a “break up.”

My last bit of advice – don’t sleep with anyone else while you’re “on a break.” It’s always a really stupid idea.

Alex Birch

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