How my break up gave me the confidence to find love

How my break up gave me the confidence to find love

Break ups can be tough – and when they hurt they really sting. Two years into a previous relationship, I started noticing things in my boyfriend that set alarm bells ringing in my head. There was significantly reduced contact from him and signs that he had checked out of the relationship. This was hard for me as I was still in the relationship but knew that it was not healthy for me to stay with him. Eventually we did have the talk and agreed to call it quits. It was a really sad and tough time but looking back, I am glad we broke up. Fortunately, there were things that I learnt from this break up.

You’ll need your friends

The most important for me was having my best friend to talk to. She was my sounding board and helped to reassure me I wasn’t overreacting to the negative changes I noticed in my boyfriend. Whenever I doubted my decision, she was there to remind me why we decided to break up. She also gave me massive confidence boosts and reminded  me that I deserved to be in a mutual loving relationship. Because I had friends who I kept in contact with even while in a relationship with my ex, I didn’t feel alone or bored when we broke up. This has taught me to cherish my friendships even when I am in a romantic relationship.

It’s ok to cry

The break up also taught me that it was okay to cry. I had some (embarrassing) spontaneous crying outbursts in random places and as much as I wouldn’t recommend this, I’m happy that I didn’t keep my emotions bottled up. As cliché as it might sound, time does heal most wounds. It didn’t hurt two weeks later as much it did immediately after the break up.

We all deserve love

Yes, break ups are hard. But my break up gave me the confidence to know what I want and go for it rather than staying with someone, endlessly waiting for them to become what I’d hoped they would be. We all deserve to be in a relationship where we feel loved.

Dee Solebo

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