By Josh Bovington
Arguing is obviously not something people like to do. Having conflict with other people can be aggravating, stressful and demoralising. Aand most people try to avoid arguments at all costs.
Arguing with your partner can be so much worse. Where you could just avoid argumentative strangers in life, there’s really no avoiding arguing with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
I remember when I first argued with my girlfriend I went into shock mode. I regretted the things I said. I started worrying if it was a sign of things to come. I started wondering if the relationship was going to end.
Then suddenly, after a few hours, I realised that wasn’t the case. We weren’t going to break up, the world wasn’t going to end.
We’re still together three and a half years later and, as you can imagine, we still have the odd argument. However, this hasn’t had a negative effect on our relationship. In fact in a way, it’s strengthened it.
Being able to say how we feel, even if it does lead to an argument, is important in a relationship. It’s better to have an argument with your partner than to be afraid of doing so, hiding the way you feel.
It is very normal to argue with your partner, and believe me when I say that it would be a lot stranger to find a relationship that had no arguments at all. I’ve yet to see one anyway.
If I could give any advice with arguments, I would say tackle them head on. Nip them in the bud as soon as they happen, because if they’re left to fester, it could grow into a bigger problem than necessary.
Having empathy and understanding in an argument is also really important. The first thing you need to realise is that the main reason people argue is because they both think they are right. Try putting yourself in your partner’s shoes.
Giving each other some time and space I think is crucial when having an argument. Emotions run high when having disagreements with your partner, and things may get said that you don’t really mean.
Try to take yourself out of the situation if at all possible. Try to give them some space and think about not only what they have said to you, but also what you have said to them.
Arguments are here for life unfortunately, but it’s how you deal with them that is important.
Looking more positively, though, you can see that being comfortable enough to have arguments with your partner is really a good thing.
If you can argue with your partner, it shows you have no concerns or fears when talking to them. It shows that you can talk to them about any subject, and it shows that you care enough about each other to have an argument in the first place.
If you were just in a relationship and didn’t give a damn about anything, I’m sure you would avoid arguments, but you probably wouldn’t be happy. Arguing is in no way wrong, and if anything, is a sign of a strong relationship.