Single and loving it – why being alone isn’t the same as being lonely

By Jamie Trezise

Now I don’t mean to sound sarcastic when I say that I don’t need a girlfriend.

It’s not because I’m afraid of commitment. It’s not because I have intimacy issues. It’s not because I’ve taken a vow of celibacy and become a Benedictine monk (although I’ve been very tempted).

It’s because I am yet to meet that special someone (that’s cliché number one of many to come). And just because I am single, doesn’t mean I get lonely.




Without the ol’ ball and chain, I have so much freedom.

I don’t mean freedom to go out and hook up with random people, I mean freedom to spend time with friends.

There is the age-old story of that friend who gets into a relationship, and is never to be seen again. I’m not saying those people in relationships don’t have the time for their friends, but there is nothing like staying up until 2am playing Battlefield 4 and eating Dominos.

If you find a girlfriend who will do that with you, you must ask her to marry you immediately.


“The art of three-wheeling…”


Just because I happen to be single, doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with couples. Over the years, I have mastered the difficult art of third-wheeling. In fact, it sometimes seems like I’m the most important person in the relationship.

Some of the best times I’ve had is when I’ve just hung out with my mates who have got together, and it’s like things haven’t changed at all. We’ve played board games, gone on picnics and watched films. Some of my closest friends ended up going out, and we all became closer because of it.


“spending time with people keeps the loneliness at bay”


A few of my friends in relationships (and some single people… and my parents…) do ask me how I spend most of my spare time when I’m not at work. Apart from writing these articles, I simply hang out with my friends.

Yes, I mainly do this in one of my town’s best establishments (by that I mean the pub). The Cricketers pub has been the place for top quality banter, deep conversations and hopeless attempts at flirting. Just spending time with people keeps the loneliness at bay.

The pub is great, but obviously the country is still recovering from a global financial crisis, so we don’t always have the money to go out. I have spent many hours just sitting out in the countryside with my friends, having a great time.

I’ve never, ever felt alone, because I have these great people around me.




Being single also allows for independence. I don’t have to worry about being whipped, which basically every male friend of mine is. Whuppah! (That one is for the die-hard Friends fans.)

I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it (as long as my mum says yes). Some of my friends have to ask permission from their other halves before they can go to the toilet, let alone go out the house.

I’m loving the freedom I have without a girlfriend, but I won’t lie – I would appreciate having  someone to tell me what I’m doing is a very bad idea…


“[Friends] support me in my singleness”


I think the best way not to be lonely whilst alone is to surround yourself with a group of absolute legends. My friends (and their respective partners) are such a good laugh to be around, and they don’t push the fact that they are happy and more likely to get married and be happy forever on me.

They support me in my singleness, and thankfully they wing-man for me at every available opportunity.

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