Facebook official? Having Sex? When are you actually IN a relationship?

When things started up with the girl I’m with, for a while in the beginning we existed in that unclear, ambiguous stage of hanging out every now and then but texting every day. We weren’t exclusive, but we were definitely heading in that direction whether I was aware of it or not.

One day, after I hadn’t got in touch with her for a whole week, from nowhere I received a lengthy text questioning my intentions and the status of our relationship. How could I… no, how dare I not text her and abide to some unwritten set of rules that I didn’t know existed and definitely hadn’t signed up to? I was annoyed at how clingy it seemed.

We weren’t in an official relationship; we were just keeping it casual. Yeah we were sleeping together, but it was just for fun, right? But when I re-read her text and thought about it I saw that she actually had a good point. Is it really fair to demand time and attention from someone without being willing to give some kind of commitment back?

At that point I had a choice to make. I decided that we both deserved to be sure about how we felt. And that even though we weren’t there yet, we both deserved to know whether or not we were heading towards being in a real, defined relationship.

And after all that it was easily the best and most important decision that was made in those early days. In the past these casual, unclear relationships have just lead to unfulfilling, empty romantic transactions that ultimately left me feeling hollow. Committed and dedicated relationship and love with another person is where I, personally, have found the greatest happiness of my life so far. And now we both know where we stand, the sex is better than ever!

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