Are you letting your heart lead too much in your relationship?

Have you ever been in a relationship and thought “it shouldn’t be this hard?” Or maybe, someone has said this to you. Maybe it even led to the end of a relationship. Relationships are meant to be a joyous thing, and to add to your life in a positive way. And yet believing they’re always going to be easy (or thinking the relationship is wrong just because it’s not) is a mistake. Sometimes, your head (decision-maker) really does need to rule your heart (feelings) in your relationship.

When two flawed people come together in an intimate way in a relationship, there are going to be differences in personality, opinion and attitudes. These need to be worked through. It will probably cause friction and may lead to some intense discussions (a.k.a. arguments) but it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t worth pursuing. It’s actually quite normal. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just have it out until you get to the other side. If you can work through it, you’ll understand each other more. It will also build strength in your relationship because next time something comes up, it won’t scare you as much. You’ll know that you’re able to get through. This is the head ruling the heart, and it’s vital that your head knows when to step in so your heart can love and be loved.

True love isn’t about loving somebody who is perfect. It’s about knowing all the ways they’re not perfect and loving them anyway. Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice. If you talk to anyone who has been in a relationship for a long time, they’ll tell you they had to work through some stuff – that there were times when they weren’t’ sure they’d get through. But by choosing to keep going their relationship was able to succeed.

If you’re too lead by your feelings in a relationship, I have good news for you! Just because things are hard doesn’t mean it’s over. Allow your head to come in and make some good decisions. It’s these decisions that will lead you into a happy, fruitful and long-lasting relationship.

(Of course – sometimes it is right to end things. If you’re in an abusive relationship or in constant conflict, it’s important to seek help – see the link below for organisations that offer relationship support).

Dan Callan

 

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