A recent article by the BBC asked: “what is the right age to lose your virginity?” They found that 40% of young women and 26% of young men felt it had not been “the right time” when they first had sex, with most of them saying they wish they’d waited longer. Honestly, what surprises me about these statistics isn’t how high the percentage is, but how low. Personally, I feel like the widely accepted stance among young people losing their virginity is far too relaxed. Do you?
For young men, losing your virginity has become more like a race among you and your peers for who can ascend into manhood first. The drive is far more about doing it as quickly as possible rather than at the right time and with the right person. Friends asked me countless times in high school if I‘d slept with anyone yet, and when I said no, there was a sense of mockery. Was this just my friends? I don’t think so. But are we really ok with a being part of a culture that says young men should pursue sex rather than pursuing people?
I think it’s interesting that the question the BBC asked was “was the timing right” rather than “was the person right.” When I look back on my life, I don’t want to be struggling to remember the name of the person I first had sex with. I wonder what we’re missing in “making love” when we do it with someone we don‘t even like? The question of losing your virginity is not about age. The question is will whether we remember that sex is actually about people.