When my girlfriend and I first started off in our relationship I was mainly interested in how I could benefit from all these new and exciting experiences and feelings. I was with the girl of my dreams! She was gorgeous, funny and interesting; and for some reason, she seemed to like me.
Every time I saw her we had an amazing time. We’d go out for meals and laugh and joke and at the end of the night we’d go our separate ways. It was easy; no responsibility, no strings, no mess.
After a few months something happened involving one of my girlfriend’s close friends that upset her incredibly. To say I was unprepared is an understatement. We hadn’t talked about how serious our relationship was; we were nowhere near saying ‘I love you’. We were undefined.
But there she was – my brand new, devastated, girlfriend.
Selfishly, thoughts like ‘I didn’t sign up for this!’ and ‘Can I come back when you’ve calmed down?’ sprang to mind. But as I sat with her I realised that, without really knowing or trying, we’d made a real connection through our nights of fun and laughter. I recognised how much of a privilege it was to be by her side to help her through her tough time, even though it was no ‘fun’ for me.
She wasn’t there just to be someone to hang around with to entertain me and satisfy my desires; she was human too, with her own needs and emotions and I need to be there for her as much as she is for me. And ever since my slow brain realised that, we’ve never been happier.