My partner is jealous of my close friend – what should I do?

By Dan Callan

While having someone who is jealous for you can be satisfying in a strange way, it can also be very problematic.

Jealousy, if not dealt with, can destroy a relationship. Healthy relationships do not have ongoing jealousy within them – it needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.

This does not mean that it is always wrong to feel jealous.

Understandably, if you believe that someone in your partner’s life is getting more attention than you, or affection that should be reserved for you, you’re going to experience feelings of jealousy.

As with many relationship issues, it’s how you react and deal with a problem that is the most important thing. And as is always the case, there is two sides to the story.

Therefore, I’m going to break down the issue from the point of view of both sides, as it is a problem for both sides to face up to.

This second article is about when your partner is jealous of someone else in your life…

 

If you are on the other side of the situation, where your partner is jealous of someone else in your life, I believe it is important to  see from your partner’s perspective and search for any reasons you could be giving them to make them jealous.

If you can, try to stay one step ahead, by eliminating any interactions with people that could be perceived as “more than just friends”. This doesn’t mean cutting them off, but adjusting how you communicate and the manner in which you communicate.

At the end of the day, each situation is different and requires understanding from each side to be navigated in the best way.

If your partner is jealous over someone who you consider a best friend, you have to be simultaneously understanding of your partner’s thoughts, but also clear in your explanation of what the person means to you.

Even if to you it seems obvious that person is just a friend, be gracious in your response. Acting defensive and angry will only lead to more uncertainty on behalf of your partner. Make it your priority to put your partner at ease and the whole situation will be easier to navigate, and will also prevent potential future situations from occurring.

To answer the title question simply: No, it is not wrong for your partner to be jealous of someone else in your life, because there might be a good reason for them to be. So have a conversation about that person, explain your side, and let your partner know that they are the only person you’re interested in romantically. Be open, be honest, be loving.

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