When I watch TV, it feels like all I see are people in relationships spending every waking moment together. And sure, this might be partially a true reflection of what it’s like to be in a relationship. It’s natural to miss your S/O when they aren’t around. It’s even natural to want to spend lots of time together. But in reality, alone time is crucial for a healthy relationship. It’s important to find the middle ground – where you value your time together but don’t let go of your individuality. Here’s how to make sure you get alone time in your relationship.
Do your own stuff
Everyone has their own hobbies and interests, and this doesn’t stop just because you’re in a relationship. Keep giving time to the things you love, and if you don’t have a hobby look for clubs to join. Put some things into your timetable that are just for you – whether it’s gaming, sport or hiking.
Safe words and signs
Instead of letting yourself get to the point where you’re overwhelmed by too much time together, talk through the importance of alone time with your partner. Have safe words or signs in your relationship that communicate when you need a little space. Talk about the positives of this beforehand so that everyone’s expectations are managed. This way your partner will know what you need without feeling let down.
Space to breathe
Build in some time together where you can both just chill quietly. It can feel like you need to be doing exciting things together all the time, but sitting quietly, listening to music or reading together are great ways to give each other time to wind down.
Over time, you’ll need to learn to be patient with your partner, and them with you. Maybe they are having a stressful day at work and want to spend their lunch relaxing, so they don’t reply to your message straight away. Support each other as you figure out how to give each other space, and your relationship will be stronger for it.