Sex-education

Sex Education – your questions answered!

Wouldn’t it be amazing if we all had a relationships expert in our lives? Well, we’ve got you covered. On our recent social media polls, you voted on which questions you’d like our relationship expert, Clinical Psychologist Dr Kerry Ashton-Shaw, to answer. Are you ready to hear what she has to say? Keep reading!

Your question: I feel like my partner never listens to me! What should I do about it?

Our relationship expert says:

Take a breath and look at the facts. Does your partner never listen to you? Or does it just feel this way? These are two very different things. If your partner never listens to your opinions, views, wants and needs, then this relationship doesn’t sound very healthy for you. In healthy relationships, partners try and understand things from each other’s point of view and don’t dismiss them by not listening. It may be that your partner just needs you to bring this to their attention in order for things to change. Or it may be this just isn’t a relationship that’s going to be good for you in the long run.

Your question: I can’t get over things my partner has done in the past. How can we move forward?

Our relationship expert says:

If you really can’t move past something that has happened in the past – can you really move forward with this relationship? If you do, will you always feel some resentment, some distrust or a niggle just below the surface? Is the incident that you can’t get over triggering other issues (like being cheated on in the past) that are nothing to do with your current partner? If so maybe it’s not your partner’s past actions that are the whole issue.

Your question: How do I know if someone is right for me?

Our relationship expert says:

Isn’t that the million dollar question! Does the person make you feel good about yourself? It’s also worth asking if trusted others think the person is right for you, and whether you feel like the relationship is equal. If the relationship makes you both happy the majority of the time (all relationships have ups and downs) then it’s a good start!

Your question: My partner and I come from such different backgrounds! Will it work out?

Our relationship expert says:

There is no reason that different backgrounds would mean a relationship won’t work. Think about what brought you together in the first place, and what your common ground is.

Your question: What happens when it’s the other way around? We have great sex but don’t connect emotionally?

Our relationship expert says:

I wonder about this. For great sex to be on the cards an emotional connection is usually needed. Is the sex really great? It may be that what you are considering to be great sex is really mediocre sex if the emotional connection is missing. If you’re sure the sex is great, think about the timing of when the emotional connection feels “off.” What are these situations? Maybe there are emotions or situations that your partner just needs a little more time to be comfortable with.

Your question: My partner keeps making fun of my body. I love them but it’s making me feel really down. What should I do?

Our relationship expert says:

The first thing I would do would be to clearly let your partner know how this is making you feel. That making fun of your body is totally unacceptable and hurtful, and not part of a healthy relationship. Be prepared for their response to this – watch out for your partner turning it around and saying you are oversensitive and can’t take a joke. You are not being oversensitive – and your partner trying to convince you that you are is a form of emotional abuse. If the situation continues I would consider staying in this relationship harmful and think about how to leave it.

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