We’ve been watching Sex Education and we love it! But it has made us wonder – does teen sex therapist Otis really know what he’s talking about? We’ve taken scenarios out of Sex Education and asked a real expert what she has to say about them. Will Clinical Psychologist, Dr Kerry Ashton-Shaw, agree with Otis’ advice? Let’s find out!
Scenario #3: I want to take things to the next level but she’s pushing me away
Jackson and Maeve are having sex. She’s clear they’re not in a relationship and she has no interest in one – Maeve likes to keep things casual. Jackson, though, is developing feelings and wants Maeve to be his girlfriend. Awkwardly (as Otis is clearly in love with Maeve himself), Jackson turns to our teen sex therapist for advice.
But what’s really going on with Maeve? Otis asks “What’s wrong with a boyfriend?” She answers “It’s just someone else to let you down, isn’t it.” But Otis doesn’t let it go. “Why don’t you want to go out with Jackson. I mean really.” Maeve sighs. “I’m me and he’s him. He’s Jackson and I’m a grotty, stinky cock-biter who lives in a caravan.” In this case, Otis only gives advice to Jackson, but maybe our relationships expert has some wise words for Maeve.
Otis’ advice for Jackson:
Stop treating Maeve like an object, she’s a person. Instead of trying to win her over, have you thought about asking her what she wants, or what she likes?
What our expert has to say:
Wow! Maeve really doesn’t think much of herself, and yet she can seem so confident! I wonder if she worries that if Jackson gets too close he’ll see the real her, and reject her. If this is the case, it’s no wonder she feels likes it’s safer to keep her distance. It’s about self-esteem again, isn’t it? Maeve may say “safe” but she runs the risk of missing out on the joy of being close and connected with someone.
Are you struggling with self-esteem? Click here for information on how to get support.