When someone comes into your life, grabs your attention and says “yes” to a date – it is easy to feel a little nervous or overwhelmed. You might experience moments of excitement, asking friends to pinch you because this person is so absolutely wonderful. Or perhaps you’ll feel abject terror as you think “What if they realise I’m not perfect?”.
In the early days of a relationship life can seem to move at double speed. You meet, fall for them, and by some miracle they do the same. Before you know it you’re holding hands and talking about nothing over a coffee at some niche café they introduced you to (even though you don’t like coffee).
There are few things better than getting to know someone intimately over the course of a few weeks’ worth of dates. But then you get to the point – where you need to have “the talk”.
The talk is an important moment in any budding relationship. It can arise at any point, becoming this great big elephant in the room that needs addressing, if you’re to make any progress.
Last time I had the talk was with a girl I’d seen four times and I was really falling for her. She told me absentmindedly that some guy had asked her on a date and she wasn’t sure whether to say “yes”.
At first, I made a joke saying, “Oh am I not good enough?” But the issue was now on the table and needed an adult answer. I told her I really enjoyed our time together and wanted to see her as much as possible but if she was seeing someone else as well I’d feel uncomfortable. It was an awkward moment but she did agree to us being exclusive.
Relationships aren’t all long walks and looking wistfully at each other. Sure, there is a lot of that but be prepared to have some very frank conversations about difficult topics.
Seeing someone naked isn’t the only reason relationships get adult.
by Rob Edwards