For a while, it felt like the perfect relationship. I enjoyed that my boyfriend wanted to be with me all the time. I felt special. I felt wanted. I loved that he called to say goodnight after I’d been on a girl’s night out. I even liked that he clearly got jealous when I talked to my guy friends. He must really love me, right? Wrong. Little did I know that these were the first signs of a controlling relationship.
I knew it for sure when I started to feel trapped. The questions were coming all the time. Who were you out with last night? Who are you texting? Why did (whoever) like so many of your Instagram posts? It was exhausting. He never wanted me to go out. He always wanted us to stay in together. He told me no one could ever love me as much as he did. He would subtly point out my flaws so I would believe him. I started to lose touch with my friends. And that’s when alarm bells starting ringing.
Relationships might have their ups and downs, but they shouldn’t make you feel trapped. My friends are amazing. I knew when they started looking worried, that something might be wrong in my new relationship. They wanted to be friends with my boyfriend, and they still wanted to see me. And that felt right.
I realised that healthy relationships need both love and trust. Love that doesn’t let you be yourself sucks the life out of you. If you are in this kind of relationship, find somebody neutral to talk to. If you feel trapped and your partner isn’t willing to change, it might be time to move on. You deserve a partner that loves you, trusts you and celebrates you!
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