How to “get over it” when your partner cheated

We all hope it will never happen to us. But some studies show that as many as 1 in 5 britons will cheat at some point. And now with social media blurring the boundaries of what even constitutes cheating, those numbers may be even higher. Many people will experience being cheated on at some point. So how do you get over having your heart broken, your trust broken, and the loss of the relationship? Here are my tips.

Be ready to move on. It’s an “I have to pick myself up and get going” type of situation which could sometimes be contrary to how you are feeling. So, you might need to be less Bridget Jones and more Carrie Bradshaw about your willingness to let go.

Avoid the temptation to stalk your ex, or the person they cheated on you with, on social media (if you know who they are). Making comparisons will not be helpful and can slow the process of getting over what happened.

Don’t blame yourself. When you have been cheated on, negative feelings can make you want to blame yourself for what happened. It is never okay to blame yourself as it was that person’s conscious choice to cheat. Also, holding yourself responsible may affect your self esteem. Having a trusted friend or even a parent to talk to in these situations can be really helpful.

Building trust again is a process because cheating is a betrayal of trust. It will be a shame to let your hurts from the past spoil the potentials in a new relationship. A friend of mine had problems in her new relationship as her boyfriend couldn’t understand why she always wanted to check his phone or go on his Facebook if he had left it logged on. He was a little more understanding when she told him about her ex cheating on her. Let your partner know about your previous relationship and decide together how to build and maintain trust.

Dee Solebo

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