Awkward – we broke up over the summer but I still have to see her

The hardest breakups are the ones where you still have to see the other person on a regular basis. Whether you’re at school, uni or work together – or just part of the same friendship group, learning how to be in the same room after a breakup is hard. I have had first hand experience of this – here are my tips for easing the awkwardness.

Keep in mind why you aren’t together anymore

If you haven’t already, get some clarity on why you broke up in the first place. When I was going through my breakup, I had to continually remind myself of why we aren’t together anymore. This helped me to see clearly despite the pain. I knew that any lingering hope would stop me from moving on, and draw out an already painful process. 

Go against the grain

Everyone wants to badmouth their ex, but as satisfying as it may have been to drag her through the mud in front of everyone, I knew that it would only make things harder for both of us. Yes, I was upset that things didn’t work out how I wanted them to. But that didn’t give me permission to treat her badly. The way you treat each other after a breakup is about who you choose to be. Go against the grain and be mature and respectful, regardless of what they choose to do.

Show up

As tempting as it might be to hide away from the world, it only makes you feel worse and is just delaying the inevitable. You’re going to have to get up and face life again at some point, so why not do it straight away, and get on the road to recovery. Show up, and know that you can breakup well – even if you still have to see them.

Dan Callan


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